on 02/04/2013 - 07:19 am
Today I would like to approach a more sensitive topic that most of us find very complicated, if for no other reason than our fear of offending someone: meeting someone for the first time that identifies transgendered.
(Please note some of the names and locations have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals)
The other day while out at a bar with friends, a very friendly woman walked up to me. Now, I felt that I knew her somehow but wasn’t entirely sure. Well we talked and she brought up my old college and I figured we were in classes together at some point. (Keep in mind I have a terrible memory for how I meet people. I never can tell how I met someone and it’s not just because they are off of Grindr!) Well saved by the bartender, he knew her and shouted, “Hey Alice! Another rum and coke?”
Phew, I was already racing to remember her name.
The conversation moved on as we got our drinks. We talked about old professors, classes, how bad the food at the cafeteria was and what we were doing now. The usual post-college chat. Well she said, “We really should do dinner sometime. It was so great getting to catch up!” I completely agreed. She asked if I still had her number, to which I sheepishly replied, “No, I’ve gone through about 4 phones in the past couple of years and lost a lot of numbers.” So I handed her my phone to save it, half way through her typing she goes, “Her I am silly!” and hands back my phone. Except its open to the contact ‘Alex Kinney’…
I’m sure my look was that of stupidity, because I had to have looked at my phone, then her, and back at my phone several times. I had NO idea! And then what was worse I didn’t know what to say next. And I am very rarely at a loss for words. She thankful realized my predicament, and made the best quip possible, ‘You know I can still drink you under the table right?’ I couldn’t help but chuckle.
She knew that she had just royally confused me. And it wasn’t over her new body (Which was rocking by the way) or the proper pronouns. It was the fact that someone I hadn’t seen in about 3 years had made a huge life choice and I had never noticed! For the record - I blame Facebook.
So here’s my question, not everybody is so fortunate to have that kind experience. To have someone who isn’t going to have a million questions and some of them inappropriate. For the people who were coming out as transgendered, is there something you wish you could share to help people understand better?
The transgendered community is following the same path as the Lesbian and Gay community by becoming mainstream. But there is still so much more to do until there are equal rights for everyone. And that first step begins with us, and talking about what people should understand
on 01/02/2013 - 01:19 pm
We survived 2012! And what a year it was indeed! Never have I seen or heard the gay community more in the news, and in mainstream media than I did the past 12 months. I mean, Grindr was even referenced on ABC’s hilarious show ‘Don’t Trust the B---- in Apt 23’. If a gay hookup app being discussed on primetime TV isn’t a sign of changing times, then I don’t know what is. But in case you missed it, here are some of my favorite moments of the year!
Matt Bomer thanks his husband and kids in his acceptance speech. Now I always knew that the White Collar star was on our side, though a little disappointed at the whole ‘already taken’ idea. I had some very clear plans to run away to NYC and win his heart. Oh well, you can’t win them all.
Anderson Cooper comes out too! We’ve all been waiting with baited breath for this silver fox to come out. It wasn’t really a secret what with him and Kathy Griffin being BFF’s.
23 of the competing athletes at the summer Olympics were LGBT. And even better, 10 of them took home medals.
Ben Cohen launches the Stand–Up magazine which promotes anti-bullying and working towards ending homophobia. I had the pleasure of attending the launch party in Atlanta and meeting some of the hardworking staff that put the magazine together.
President Obama becomes the first active President to vocally support Marriage Equality.
Tammy Baldwin became the first LGBT Senator.
4 new states joined for allowing Same-Sex Marriages. Maine, Maryland, Washington and Minnesota.
The repel of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell showed zero negative side effects to military effectiveness.
My inner dork rejoiced at the marriage of Northstar and Kyle in the comic series ‘Astonishing X-Men.
JC Penny shows amazing support behind Ellen when right-wing protesters called for her removal at the brands spokeswoman. (Not to mention their amazing ads featuring same sex parents.)
Gap, Target and Oreo show their pride with respective ads directed towards LGBT inclusion.
on 12/12/2012 - 05:15 pm
There is something magical about this time of year. People seem happier. Children are less annoying. And overall the world just seems a bit more peaceful. But this time of year always reminds me of one thing; coming out to my parents for the first time. The first time I said I was bi, then went back and said it was a phase. (Total bullshit obviously) The following Spring, I came out as gay. So, every time it starts to get chilly out and Christmas wreaths go up at my house, I think back to that very unique winter break. It’s hard to believe it was 4 years ago; seems like just yesterday...
You know those moments when you swear that time has decided to drag itself out in order to make life’s most awkward moments just go on and on? Yea, that was my drive from college in south Georgia back to my parent’s house in north Atlanta.
I had told maybe a handful of friends in Milledgeville that I thought I was ‘bi’. They understood - though looking back I’m sure they knew I was going through the stages of coming to terms with who I was. But thinking of the reactions from my friends versus my family was a whole different ballgame. Now with my family’s religious background and the fact that I was in a very Christian fraternity, I feared the worst when it came to reactions. I imagined being thrown out of my house, my mother crying and saying I was a disappointment. These truly horrible visions haunted me for weeks and only got worse during the drive home.
Well, I finally arrive home (in my very butch F-150). I was shaking and ready to throw up. But somehow I gathered my wits and went inside and did my best not to act like something was heavy on my mind. I’m sure my mother could tell though, as all Italian women can. I managed to make it two days without telling them or even really talking to them. Thank goodness for the new Halo game, it kept me busy in the basement and took my mind off some of the stress. But finally it got to the point where I knew I had to actually talk to them, or else they would think something was really wrong. If I had thought more, I would have opened up with a line like, ‘Mom…Dad…I got a girl pregnant.’ Perhaps that would have made the next shock a little easier. Alas, I was not that tactful. I waited until I was about ready to leave the house to go to a party that evening. While they were watching TV, I walked into the living room and just looked at them both and said. “I’m bi, I like girls and guys. Okay, I’m going over to Catherine’s. Bye!”
Yea, not my best moment…Want to know their reaction and the real place I went? Here’s a hint - it wasn’t Catherine’s house. Check back next week!
on 11/28/2012 - 02:48 pm
Today, I want to have a very simple message for everyone out there. It’s one that many people have spoken before, people much more powerful and influential than myself. I am calling for peace. I know that sounds like a far reaching concept. Something so vague yet so simple can’t possibly be conveyed, yet alone achieved, through something as ordinary as a blog, but I think it can.
Every morning when I wake up, I automatically turn on the TV to CNN and MSNBC. I listen to John Berman talk about the violence in Syria, the fights in Washington between political parties, and the people being scammed